I just found puke in my bra..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
