I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
