Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just blew my weed a kiss
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
