When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
