No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Randomize