sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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