Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
