someone get that fucking seahorse.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
ttyl tear gas
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize