You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
