oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
