OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
