I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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