I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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