So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
