i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
