1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
