even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
