It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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