so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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