Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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