there's paper in my vomit.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
