Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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