my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
