I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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