I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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