Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
