Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
