last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
did i walk over a car last night?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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