he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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