Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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