Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
