Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
