went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
