what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
