Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
