Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
