Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
