ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize