What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
