were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
