I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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