I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
