FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Randomize
