I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
