I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize