I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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