was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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