im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
