You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish you could order shots online.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
