How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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