I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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