we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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