Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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