May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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