And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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