what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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