For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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