We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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