kristin has been a bad kristin
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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