I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
