Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
