Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I bet he comes in French.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
