Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
